#OccupySocialMedia

Do you remember when you first got Twitter? Do you remember that feeling that the whole world was suddenly at your fingertips? That feeling that the playing field was level. You could now not only read the whims and daily musings of your crush, you could peek inside the brains of the actors, musicians, journalists, and other celebrities you admired. And when you started, you had 12 followers, tweeted from twitter.com with a default egg shaped avatar and a cloud themed background. But you felt that if you were witty enough, smart enough, or persistent enough you would become just like one of those people you retweeted ten times a day.

Well, you were fed a lie. Twitter is rigged. Social media is rigged. By creating web presences and personal brands on large, multi-national social networks like Twitter, Tumblr, and Google+ we are simply buying into the myth that if we are relevant enough, we will be stars. The playing field, however, is not flat. We are fed stories of “normal” people who leveraged their social skills to gain fame and notoriety online such as @kellyoxford and @thesulk. But these stories are few and far between, and may have been inside jobs with the Social Media Elite. Really, we are just providing more followers for the Social Media 1 Percent: We tweet at Twitter stars with millions of followers, hoping that they will retweet or respond, spreading our name to their vast networks. We are fighting over the scraps of their tables, and perpetuating a system of inequality and shame.

In this unjust, unfair system, the Social Media 1 Percent are gaining followers exponentially, while the rest of us are lucky to ever break 500. You see, it works like this. When a user visits the profile of an online star like Alec Baldwin and sees that this persona already has hundreds of thousands of followers, they are more likely to follow them. Think a snowball effect. Meanwhile, that same user visits your profile, sees that you have 37 followers and no website, and navigates to a new page without hitting the follow button. A few stars are getting incredibly famous while the rest of us are desperately wasting our time and energy on social media sites. We are the Social Media 99%, and we are sick and tired of it. We will not stand for being second rate web presences.

We must not put up with this any longer. We will not stand for the Social Media 1% taking followers, reblogs, “likes,” and Klout away from the rest of us. We will not stand for spending nearly 3/4 of our waking hours on pointless social media sites just to have a pitiful Klout score of 27. 

Our list of demands is simple. We are demanding:

-A redistribution of followers. If you have more than 100,000 followers you must give away 50% of new followers to those less famous than yourself. There will be follower brackets consisting of users with less than 100, 1,000 or fewer, 10,000 or fewer, 50,000 or fewer, 500,000 or fewer, and over 500,000. Redistribution will be focused mainly on those in the top bracket.

-Mandatory Responses: Currently, the Social Media 1 Percent is playing a little game. They tweet something out and get 65 responses, but only respond to other people with strong personal brands and thousands of followers. We demand that the 1 Percent begin answering all of their mentions, so that their network will be more engaged with the 99 Percent. No more inside jobs.

-Mandatory Retweets: Every tweet, no matter how pointless, deserves retweets. Often a lesser known web presence will be flooding the internet with content all day long, but receive no retweets or mentions. This is keeping the little guy down, and preventing an effective distribution of content. Every tweet will get at least 10 total retweets by members of all follower brackets.

-Free access to mobile platforms: Those who do not have internet connected phones are at a severe disadvantage. Even worse, those who tweet “via Twitter for Android” or “via UberSocial for BlackBerry” face humiliation and unequal opportunity. The Social Media 1 Percent is constantly connected, tweeting “via Twitter for iPhone” or “via TweetDeck.” We demand that all members of social media sites have free access to credible materials that allow them to advance. A user tweeting from an Android or BlackBerry faces discrimination, and is handicapped from the start. The playing field must be leveled.

We ask that you stand in solidarity with our movement to #OccupySocialMedia. It’s time to bring the Kim Kardashians and Nick Kristofs of the world to justice, and drag them out of their ivory towers. It’s time that everyone has access to the dream of social media.  We know they will try to block our hashtag; however, you cannot defeat an idea. We will grow, and we will become influencers. online. We are the Social Media 99 Percent. 

-Anonymous

Students of NYU/Citizens of the World:
This is a call to action. It’s time to wake up from your slumber. It’s time to stop hiding behind the convenient lies they’re feeding us, keeping us in submission. It’s time we expose what’s really happening. It’s time to Occupy Stern.
For too long, they’ve hidden behind their fancy buildings, corporate presentation rooms, and suited minions. For too long, we’ve been told that Stern is a “good school,” preparing students for “successful careers.” In actuality, it is a huge corporate ponzi scheme bankrupting millions of people and making a few people rich. 
See, Stern takes the money from the students and “invests” it in the school. By invest, they mean build new infrastructure, hire top notch professors, and pay recruiters to come on campus and interview their students. Is this not the DEFINITION of a ponzi scheme? The corporate greed has gone on long enough. Stern has killed millions of starving children in Africa, and was responsible for the 2008 financial crash.
What’s even worse, they take the “best and brightest” students from around America and Korea and muddle their brains around until they become zombie-like Excel spreadsheet monkeys. This is a crime against America, and more severely a crime against Korea and the Hong Kong International School, as well as a few top notch preparatory schools in India. According to our scientific survey, Stern has killed upwards of 50,000 souls since its inception, and has prevented students from pursuing rewarding opportunities in careers like social media marketing, blogging, and music video production. If the brain power in Stern were to be used on important subjects like content farming, art, culture, and microblogging, the world would be a far better place. Instead, our best grads are made into submissive lackeys of a corrupt, soul crushing world order. Enough is enough! No more Goldman Sachs on our campus!  Fuck you Bank of America, you can’t have any of our students!
So what can you do? We have to take a stance. We’re asking everyone in Stern to transfer to Gallatin and pursue what they are really “passionate” about. Be it social media, politics, journalism, reblogging, music, acting, photography, psychology, sociology, film, or a major you invent we ask that you boycott Stern. In addition, we will be holding a protest against Stern in the following weeks. We will do a peaceful sit-in where we have drum circles, body art, and group dialogues that will question the status quo and bring the Stern administration to its knees. Our goal is to break up Stern and give all its resources to other programs and people around the world who need them more. Stern is killing our school, and it’s time we take our school back. Occupy Stern!  
When the Sternies walk into class in the morning and enjoy their common hour lunch break, they will be reminded of the crimes against humanity that they are about to commit.  We are strong, we are one, and we will change the world.
PS - Don’t expect the mainstream media like WASHINGTON SQUARE NEWS to cover this story.  Also, everyone should bring goggles because we’re expecting to be mased by NYU Campus security.  They’re also probably going to beat the shit out of us, so wear down jackets and wear layers.
Be safe everyone, we’re all in this together. Stay tuned for more news about occupying Stern! Viva la revolution! 
-FNYUL

Students of NYU/Citizens of the World:

This is a call to action. It’s time to wake up from your slumber. It’s time to stop hiding behind the convenient lies they’re feeding us, keeping us in submission. It’s time we expose what’s really happening. It’s time to Occupy Stern.

For too long, they’ve hidden behind their fancy buildings, corporate presentation rooms, and suited minions. For too long, we’ve been told that Stern is a “good school,” preparing students for “successful careers.” In actuality, it is a huge corporate ponzi scheme bankrupting millions of people and making a few people rich. 

See, Stern takes the money from the students and “invests” it in the school. By invest, they mean build new infrastructure, hire top notch professors, and pay recruiters to come on campus and interview their students. Is this not the DEFINITION of a ponzi scheme? The corporate greed has gone on long enough. Stern has killed millions of starving children in Africa, and was responsible for the 2008 financial crash.

What’s even worse, they take the “best and brightest” students from around America and Korea and muddle their brains around until they become zombie-like Excel spreadsheet monkeys. This is a crime against America, and more severely a crime against Korea and the Hong Kong International School, as well as a few top notch preparatory schools in India. According to our scientific survey, Stern has killed upwards of 50,000 souls since its inception, and has prevented students from pursuing rewarding opportunities in careers like social media marketing, blogging, and music video production. If the brain power in Stern were to be used on important subjects like content farming, art, culture, and microblogging, the world would be a far better place. Instead, our best grads are made into submissive lackeys of a corrupt, soul crushing world order. Enough is enough! No more Goldman Sachs on our campus!  Fuck you Bank of America, you can’t have any of our students!

So what can you do? We have to take a stance. We’re asking everyone in Stern to transfer to Gallatin and pursue what they are really “passionate” about. Be it social media, politics, journalism, reblogging, music, acting, photography, psychology, sociology, film, or a major you invent we ask that you boycott Stern. In addition, we will be holding a protest against Stern in the following weeks. We will do a peaceful sit-in where we have drum circles, body art, and group dialogues that will question the status quo and bring the Stern administration to its knees. Our goal is to break up Stern and give all its resources to other programs and people around the world who need them more. Stern is killing our school, and it’s time we take our school back. Occupy Stern!  

When the Sternies walk into class in the morning and enjoy their common hour lunch break, they will be reminded of the crimes against humanity that they are about to commit.  We are strong, we are one, and we will change the world.

PS - Don’t expect the mainstream media like WASHINGTON SQUARE NEWS to cover this story.  Also, everyone should bring goggles because we’re expecting to be mased by NYU Campus security.  They’re also probably going to beat the shit out of us, so wear down jackets and wear layers.

Be safe everyone, we’re all in this together. Stay tuned for more news about occupying Stern! Viva la revolution! 

-FNYUL

These guys are our new favorite band.  The Walker Hood Quartet seen jamming in WSP for their fans!

These guys are our new favorite band.  The Walker Hood Quartet seen jamming in WSP for their fans!

 
Hello, all. For those of you who have experienced our twitter presence, we thank you for your unparalleled support. However, true #FNYUL diehards know that we have a 360 approach to social media. The tumblr presence has to be reintroduced to strength our brand, to reinforce our message in a more sharable, wordy context.  
Much has happened in our lives since our last post. We’ve met hundreds of talented writers and bloggers/content creators, we’ve attended panels around the world, and we’ve come to see social media in a new light. There have been makeups and breakups, but the core of Fake NYU Local remains. One of our writers recently switched out of the CAS politics major and is now studying “Foreign Policy in the 19th Century and its effect on Japanese Literature” in Gallatin. Our International Editor just ended his third unpaid media internship and decided it was time to start taking this more seriously so he can do this full time after school. 
A few weeks in, this year is still full of promise and hope. We will help you reach your ideal identity as an online brand, for we have ourselves gone through the steps it takes to reach “brand equilibrium.” Expect more scathing criticism, witty commentary, hilarious anecdotes, and of course links to TechCrunch and New York Times stories with brief summaries and/or comments attached. It’s going to be a great year, and we’re glad to be back.
Love,
FNYUL

Hello, all. For those of you who have experienced our twitter presence, we thank you for your unparalleled support. However, true #FNYUL diehards know that we have a 360 approach to social media. The tumblr presence has to be reintroduced to strength our brand, to reinforce our message in a more sharable, wordy context.  

Much has happened in our lives since our last post. We’ve met hundreds of talented writers and bloggers/content creators, we’ve attended panels around the world, and we’ve come to see social media in a new light. There have been makeups and breakups, but the core of Fake NYU Local remains. One of our writers recently switched out of the CAS politics major and is now studying “Foreign Policy in the 19th Century and its effect on Japanese Literature” in Gallatin. Our International Editor just ended his third unpaid media internship and decided it was time to start taking this more seriously so he can do this full time after school. 

A few weeks in, this year is still full of promise and hope. We will help you reach your ideal identity as an online brand, for we have ourselves gone through the steps it takes to reach “brand equilibrium.” Expect more scathing criticism, witty commentary, hilarious anecdotes, and of course links to TechCrunch and New York Times stories with brief summaries and/or comments attached. It’s going to be a great year, and we’re glad to be back.

Love,

FNYUL

How to be a #blogstar

Hey everybody,

Welcome back.  It’s summer, the perfect time to relax, reflect, and step up your web presence.  People have been asking us how we mastered social media, and if we could share any of our tips.  Of course, we were happy to share.  The value in becoming a blogstar is quite obvious: People who you’ve never met before already like you, you can promote your content to a large group and sway popular opinion, and you can establish a core group of “haters” to ensure that you’ve “made it.” Here it is, our beginner’s guide to becoming a Blogstar:

In 2011 and beyond, who sinks and who swims will be determined by one thing: personal online branding. Simply put, those who fail to keep up with the times and convert their lives into the digital sphere will be left behind.  Without a solid web presence you will be unable to find work, attract a life partner, and ultimately procreate.  This is a fact, not an opinion.  Most people’s reaction to this is quite impulsive: “Oh no,” they say, “I’ve got to go out there and make a name for myself in (insert artistic, business, or media related field) so that I will get tons of followers on Twitter and have major Google searchability!” …Wrong. To have a strong web presence, you need not waste your time achieving major feats IRL (in real life). People make the mistake of trying hard in their endeavors and hoping that people will magically start following them. Instead, it is critical to flood the internet with content through various platforms, all linked together under your “personal online brand.” 

This all sounds very nebulous, but it is really quite simple.  Becoming a blogstar comes down to several easy steps: Choosing your platform, identifying your unique personal brand, delivering content, and PBA (Personal Brand Alignment).  However, many overlook the early steps and find that they have to start over.  Making the right decisions and aligning/positioning your brand early on will position you to become a blogstar.  

Step 1: Choose your platform.  This is a critical time in the process, and must not be overlooked.  Using the right social media platforms lets others know that you are up on current web trends and that your brand should be trusted.  For mobile devices, this means choosing an iPhone over all Blackberrys, Androids, and other options.  For Twitter platform, this means choosing Tweetdeck over Echofon, Ubersocial, or Hootsuite.  For picture sharing, this means choosing Instagram over Twitpic, Lockerz, YFrog, and Plixi.  For a personal blog, this means choosing Tumblr over WordPress and Blogger.  For location sharing, this means choosing FourSquare over Facebook Places. These are simple steps but are necessary to build up credibility in the digital age. Many have been on the verge of Blogstardom but fell short because they made poor platform choices like “checking in on Facebook” or “getting an Android tablet because it’s cheaper.”  These are serious mistakes that can be costly in the long run.

Step 2:  Identify your personal brand.  This is where it gets trickier.  You must decide what your online personality is, and how you want others to perceive you.  Luckily, we already know what you want and what makes YOU unique.  You are quirky, funny, bold, youthful, spontaneous, sometimes sarcastic, and always opinionated while remaining sincere and relatable. You can show this in your Twitter bio, on your Tumblr, in the pictures you post, and in the general “vibes” you give off digitally.   

Step 3: Delivering content.  This is the make or break part of the process, and requires much time and devotion. If you are a journalist, the work you create must be exposed to as many people as possible through your social media platforms.  If you are a musician, the founder of a tech startup, or a filmmaker this means finding a core audience and expanding from there.  However, if you do not create original content such as music or art, don’t fear! In the world of social media you can post links to exciting, new, and obscure work and take some of the credit (a finder’s fee, if you will).  Whether you’re reblogging a faded picture of a fall day in Central Park, retweeting a Mediafire link to a brand new song, or talking about how you still don’t understand the wild beauty in Werner Herzog’s catalogue even after nine viewings, you are nonetheless “producing content” by associating your brand with these works.  This will be further discussed in the next section, but aligning yourself with the correct brands and sharing them with your network will help you gain credibility, followers, and searchability.  It is important to vary your content; this includes sharing blog posts/articles, photos, music you enjoy, places you go, and your own feelings and thoughts.  A major mistake some people make is holding back; you must be honest with the internet, expressing your true feelings and secrets over such platforms as Twitter and Tumblr.  This is how we connect in the Digital Age.  

4: PBA (Personal Brand Alignment).  Creating a strong online brand involves aligning yourself with other brands that are creative, interesting, and influential. Anytime we digitally interact with another person, band, or actual brand (clothing, restaurant, tech company, etc.) we are aligning our personal brand with the other’s.  This means you must be discerning in the content you ingest and the content you share; sharing articles from Thought Catalog makes you appear honest and quirky, while sharing articles from the New York Times makes you appear credible and intellectually curious.  By making jokes back and forth with or getting retweeted by other blogstars it shows that they respect you, and vice versa.  By sharing an awesome R&B track from 1999 that everyone forgot about but is glad to remember, it shows that you are culturally connected.  Engaging in a series of mutually beneficial digital relationships will help you position your brand correctly and will lead you to becoming a Blogstar.  Of course, the opposite is also true.  Tweeting at some lame friend from middle school with a locked Twitter account and the name “Kristy673” will regress your brand’s momentum.  Choosing the wrong song to share or sharing a song too late will show weakness and make others think that your content is not to be trusted.  

If you have any questions or would like to hire us as Social Media Consultants, feel free to DM us on Twitter, @FakeNYULocal.  We hope you enjoyed our tips to mastering the tools that been given to us on this great internet we all call home.  

Signing off,

FNYUL

"Where Brooklyn at?!"

Williamsburg is the new LES.

Bushwick is the new Williamsburg.

Greenpoint is the new Bushwick.

Bedstuy is the new Greenpoint.

Carroll Gardens is the new Bedstuy.

We’re moving to Queens, y’all better catch up.

My Freshman year at NYU. 
Hey guys,
So freshman year is officially DONZO as of last Thursday at 5 PM.  After my Texts & Ideas Final which I crammed for all week, I had to let loose.  I know, I should have written this post on Friday, but since it’s the last weekend with all my friends around we had to get #schwaste.  Not to mention moving out Sunday afternoon looking like a hot mess on 12th street.  It was definitely a bittersweet weekend, but I’m so ready for #summer.  We found this deli on 11th street and 2nd Ave and they have real Four Loko (w/ caffeine!!!).  Had a sick last weekend; hit up all the usual spots (Webster Hall, Forum, Lazarza, etc.) with my all my suitemates and had brunch at this cute French place with the four of us.  You probably saw the pictures on facebook via iPhone with the vintage grain.
Come to think of it, it wasn’t that awesome of a brunch.  My roommate McKayla was kind of pissing me off.  She kept bringing up embarrassing stories about me from first semester when I couldn’t “hold my liquor” and it was supposed to be in good fun but I could tell she was getting pleasure out of humiliating me.  Me and McKayla were BFFL in the fall, mad tight, but we grew apart and I really started to hate her.  Crying over  her boyfriend who goes to UCSD and unloading all her problems on me; never asking before using my Burt’s Bees, leaving her sweaty yoga clothes on the floor.  That’s why me and the other suitemates didn’t include her in our housing lottery for next year secretly.  She found out  and confronted us, but we blamed it on a glitch in the system and she managed to find a single two floors up.  What a fake ass bitch. But besides that, I can’t wait to live with my two suitemates next year; we got a quad at Gramercy.  It has a gym right in the basement and a bus straight to campus; so convenient and we can stay in great shape (right???).  Ranked #1 most luxurious dorm in the country!! 
Feel like I experienced a ton of personal growth this year.  Looking back on the person I was a year ago, a person who knew nothing of culture/art/life and was trapped in a suburban cage, I feel a 180 degree change.  But at the same time, nothing has changed.  I’m still the same girl who always carries her 1986 Pentax camera and loves Disney movies.  After a rough experience in high school, it’s great to finally be in a city away from all those morons. It’s like I didn’t quite fit in in high school ‘cause no one at my school was really on the same level as me, but at NYU people get it.  They get me.
 I’ve definitely made some great friends here, and have achieved 114 followers on twitter (I’m only following 82 - that’s a surplus).  I feel like I’m really gaining an edge on the competition living in New York this young and getting to experience “reality” as opposed to some cushy campus.  Living right in the heart of the city and seeing real people live, work, and go about their daily lives is making me mature at a rate 2-3 times as quick as my friends at SUNY Geneseo.  
Although I started off in CAS as Psychology w/ an Econ minor, I moved into Gallatin because I’ve really gotten into social media and marketing.  With things like newspapers in extinction and the whole economy going digital (i.e. Linkedin valued at $4.5 billion) it only makes sense to create my own major and stay with the times. I need to take the classes that I want and get an edge.  I’ll start in the Fall with a few Gallatin seminars.
Although I’m going to miss Summer in the city, I’m ready to go home to central air, my dog, and my mom’s old Mercedes ML320.  Maybe I’ll mess around with this guy Jason from high school; he’s been facebook chatting me alot and says he’s going to be in town this summer.  I heard all the guys at NYU were gay or taken, and it’s definitely true.  Maybe in Gallatin I’ll meet some guys who understand their feelings better and aren’t such egotistical maniacs like those fucking #Sternies.  Here’s to next year, to this summer, and to my personal growth and development.
Signing off,
@FAKENYULOCAL

My Freshman year at NYU.

Hey guys,

So freshman year is officially DONZO as of last Thursday at 5 PM.  After my Texts & Ideas Final which I crammed for all week, I had to let loose.  I know, I should have written this post on Friday, but since it’s the last weekend with all my friends around we had to get #schwaste.  Not to mention moving out Sunday afternoon looking like a hot mess on 12th street.  It was definitely a bittersweet weekend, but I’m so ready for #summer.  We found this deli on 11th street and 2nd Ave and they have real Four Loko (w/ caffeine!!!).  Had a sick last weekend; hit up all the usual spots (Webster Hall, Forum, Lazarza, etc.) with my all my suitemates and had brunch at this cute French place with the four of us.  You probably saw the pictures on facebook via iPhone with the vintage grain.

Come to think of it, it wasn’t that awesome of a brunch.  My roommate McKayla was kind of pissing me off.  She kept bringing up embarrassing stories about me from first semester when I couldn’t “hold my liquor” and it was supposed to be in good fun but I could tell she was getting pleasure out of humiliating me.  Me and McKayla were BFFL in the fall, mad tight, but we grew apart and I really started to hate her.  Crying over  her boyfriend who goes to UCSD and unloading all her problems on me; never asking before using my Burt’s Bees, leaving her sweaty yoga clothes on the floor.  That’s why me and the other suitemates didn’t include her in our housing lottery for next year secretly.  She found out  and confronted us, but we blamed it on a glitch in the system and she managed to find a single two floors up.  What a fake ass bitch. But besides that, I can’t wait to live with my two suitemates next year; we got a quad at Gramercy.  It has a gym right in the basement and a bus straight to campus; so convenient and we can stay in great shape (right???).  Ranked #1 most luxurious dorm in the country!! 

Feel like I experienced a ton of personal growth this year.  Looking back on the person I was a year ago, a person who knew nothing of culture/art/life and was trapped in a suburban cage, I feel a 180 degree change.  But at the same time, nothing has changed.  I’m still the same girl who always carries her 1986 Pentax camera and loves Disney movies.  After a rough experience in high school, it’s great to finally be in a city away from all those morons. It’s like I didn’t quite fit in in high school ‘cause no one at my school was really on the same level as me, but at NYU people get it.  They get me.

 I’ve definitely made some great friends here, and have achieved 114 followers on twitter (I’m only following 82 - that’s a surplus).  I feel like I’m really gaining an edge on the competition living in New York this young and getting to experience “reality” as opposed to some cushy campus.  Living right in the heart of the city and seeing real people live, work, and go about their daily lives is making me mature at a rate 2-3 times as quick as my friends at SUNY Geneseo.  

Although I started off in CAS as Psychology w/ an Econ minor, I moved into Gallatin because I’ve really gotten into social media and marketing.  With things like newspapers in extinction and the whole economy going digital (i.e. Linkedin valued at $4.5 billion) it only makes sense to create my own major and stay with the times. I need to take the classes that I want and get an edge.  I’ll start in the Fall with a few Gallatin seminars.

Although I’m going to miss Summer in the city, I’m ready to go home to central air, my dog, and my mom’s old Mercedes ML320.  Maybe I’ll mess around with this guy Jason from high school; he’s been facebook chatting me alot and says he’s going to be in town this summer.  I heard all the guys at NYU were gay or taken, and it’s definitely true.  Maybe in Gallatin I’ll meet some guys who understand their feelings better and aren’t such egotistical maniacs like those fucking #Sternies.  Here’s to next year, to this summer, and to my personal growth and development.

Signing off,

@FAKENYULOCAL

Will J. Clinton and NYU Commencement

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO:  Taken by one of our bloggers, this striking image of two powerful old white men describes the mood at NYU commencement.  Today, at Yankees Field in the Bronks, one of the most northerly sections of Manhattan, the 42nd president of America spoke to the Class of 2011, and boy was he proud of us.  He said that “we were the brightest shining stars of the future of the whole wide world” and that  ”we would make tons of money working at/starting our own social media startups.”  When I saw President Bill and President Sex on the stage together, both white haired and joking on stage about the strip club they hit up on their way to commencement, I was struck with a feeling of pride.  I am a proud graduate of NYU, and I am still being struck by the relevance of President Bill’s repeated stress on the importance of small business and the American spirit.  It was as if he was talking directly to me about my blog and my web presence.  We will be the change-makers, and we will write the next eChapter in the history of the fucking world.

Now, as I get ready to board my flight to Chicago, I sit here in this big corporate airport.  I think about how many people around me don’t even know that I saw President Bill today and he talked to me about the future.  I wonder what kind of plane he was getting on after he left Yankees Field today.  What as going through his mind?  Anyway, I am pretty pumped to get focused on my web presence this summer, then start looking for Grad Schools in the fall.  I heard the UC system is doing pretty well with digital journalism.  Bye bye NYU, goodbye #FNYUL.  You will always remain a part of my web presence, and my linkage to your amazing content will provide proof that I was there, and I participated in some of the most revolutionary college eContent in history.  

Thanks Bill, Thanks President Sex.  

Goodnight.

#FNYUL’s Tasty Tuesday: Cafe Mercato

Hey NYUers,

Welcome to our first webisode of #TastyTuesday, a new installment where we visit local food spots/hangouts near NYU.  We rate the places on atmosphere, food, value, and customer service. For our first week, we visited #CafeMercato, a local deli on Broadway & Bleecker.  

Score: 3.9/10

Stepping into #Mercato is an overload of the senses: fluorescent lights, absurdly tall Greek columns, rows of pre-prepared sandwiches and a steamy, moist, slightly foul-smelling hot food bar confront you upon arrival.  One of our bloggers ordered a small chocolate chip gelato from the ice cream station, the other “passed” altogether.  The measly cup came to a whopping $3.95, and with a flavor profile similar to the interior of a generic-brand ice cream sandwich the creamy treat was surely a disappointment.  When our blogger asked for chocolate sprinkles on his frozen snack, the disgruntled and difficult to understand employee replied that they didn’t have sprinkles.  #FAIL 

If you’re looking for a nice, relaxing place to hang out and stream your RSS feed and maybe work on a few Google docs, this surely is not the place.  The place is overly sterile and feels more like a mainstream nightclub/bar we’d go to pick up girls from #FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) than a local cafe/hangout.  With hard, unwelcoming wooden bench seating and little red stools that are about 1 foot high, the seating situation is decidedly bleak.  Limited outlets in the wall to charge MacBooks, low tables that forced us to hunch over, and workers that continuously glanced over suspiciously at us gave the space generally “harsh” vibes. Although you’re welcome to stay all night, you probably would rather go hang out in a room full of #Sternies (BBBOOOO!!!!!!) wearing Hickey Freeman suits than sit here for more than 15 minutes.  Unfortunately, the staff cleared out the #hotfoodbar before we got a chance to get a #yfrog #twitgoo or #lockerz of it, but we can assure you it looked putrid.  The beer selection looked solid though, and maybe we’ll head back someday to pick up some microbrews.

ATTENTION STUDENTS: Fortunately, to help out with these Fancy European prices, #CafeMercato accepts “Campus Clipper” coupons, available online for NYC area students.  We don’t know much about “@Campus_Clipper,” but it doesn’t sound like a hot startup we’d want to intern for, even if they paid us.  #TeamTenka

As an alternative, we suggest “Le Basket” just a block up Broadway.  ”Le Basket” is french for “The Basket,” and they have a great outdoor seating area! Feel free to grab a chair off the stack and veg out on a warm spring night with a few hand-rolled Amsterdam Shag cigarettes. Ah, the life of a #blogstar.                         #BASKET

The B here is for “Basket”                                                                       #BASKET

So, our visit to #CafeMercato was a total #fail.  We came in with high expectations, as #CM has gotten rave reviews from other social media gurus in the area.  As they say, one blogger’s #trash is another blogger’s #treasure.  Come with us next week as we explore more hidden culinary spots in Greenwich Village, and for more essential ground-breaking stories like this be sure to follow our #tumblr and #twitter pages.  

Signing off,

-@FAKENYULOCAL

 
 
#FNYUL Presents: Tyler the Creator #GOBLIN
Today is May 10, a day the interwebs has been awaiting for months.  Not only is it #ReadingDay at NYU and classes are officially donzo, but #OFWGKTA frontman Tyler the Creator has released his first studio album under XL Recordings, GOBLIN.  The album is produced entirely by Tyler with all original beats, no samples. Naturally, we allied our personal brand with Tyler long ago, following him on Twitter when he had a mere 6,500 followers (he now has a cool 185,000+). Although #6OBLIN leaked around May 4th, today is the day that the album is officially for sale.  Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few months and not wasting exorbitant amounts of time on the internet via sucking the corporate ‘D’ in #STERN (BOOO!!!), you’ve heard of #OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All), the Los Angeles hip-hop crew at the forefront of the New West movement.  Within the crew, there are various collaborations and artists such as backpack crew Mellowhype, stoner God Domo Genesis, and R&B ladykiller Frank Ocean, with Tyler as the outlandish frontman with the most #swag…  #SWAG.
Although the collective had been putting out mixtapes and singles via their #tumblr since 2008, the group’s big break happened in one week in early 2011.  Tyler released the viral music video Yonkers on February 10th which was cosigned via Twitter by Kanye West, and on February 16th Tyler and Hodgy Beats performed on Jimmy Fallon with the Roots as a backing band.  After the “shocking” “horrorcore” performance in which the duo sported ski masks and used the Travelocity leprechaun as a prop, Odd Future was trending worldwide on Twitter and morphed into an internationally recognized brand.  After a Billboard cover, an international sold-out tour, and the creation of Odd Future Records, it was clear that OF had “blown the fuck up.”  Even lame-ass kids who wear cargo shorts and pay $60 to go to “Deadmau5” shows were posting the #Yonkers video on your wall….ten days late though, of course.  However, with only one solo album/mixtape “Bastard,” under the leader’s belt, all eyes were on Tyler when he announced his debut “legit” album, #Goblin, to drop May 10th.  At the forefront of all things music, #socialmedia, and culture, #FNYUL has had this album since it first leaked and has had some time to reflect on it and let the sounds marinate.   Since Pitchfork has not yet reviewed the album, we ensure you that all views are our own.  We present to you our take on Tyler’s latest creation, written in highly pretentious prose. #SWAG
While 2009’s #Bastard presented a raw, broken, and fatherless teenager who recorded music in his bedroom with cheap equipment to escape the realities of a lower middle class existence, “Goblin” portrays a young man on the cusp of fame and riches struggling to retain that identity in the face of the all consuming “music business.” As with “Bastard,” the album opens with a skit in which a therapist (played by a deep voiced Tyler) asks him a question; This time, instead of answering “This is what the devil plays before he goes to sleep/Some food for thought that’s food for death go ‘head and fucking eat/My father’s dead well I don’t know we’ll never fuckin’ meet/I cut my wrists and play piano ‘cause I’m so depressed,” Tyler replies “I’m not a fucking role model/I’m a fucking 19-year-old fucking coaster with pipe dreams/Since Kanye tweeted tellin’ people he’s bumpin’ my shit/These mother fuckers think I’m supposed to live up to something, shit.”  This opening moment foreshadows the change of tone throughout the album that makes #Goblin something refreshing and different while still retaining all of the characteristics that drew us in the first time.  We have to give props to Tyler for putting features from the usual cast of characters such as Domo, Hodgy, Mike G, Jasper Dolphin, and Taco on the album instead of collabing with T-Pain the moment he gets in the limelight (re: Wiz Khalifa).  This shows integrity and humility on Tyler’s part and shows that he is a genuine artist in it for the long haul.
The album feels very honest from start to finish; right off the bat Tyler comes clean and tells us that he is not actually “a rapist or a serial killer,” a persona he adapts in many songs such as VCR/Wheels. This perhaps makes his character even more perplexing; Tyler’s rants about “kidnapping, smacking a bitch” on one of the album’s highlights “Transylvania” are the musings of a twisted mind that has created a private world for himself that in our most primitive, vulnerable moments we can all relate to.  Tyler also lets us in on a softer, more vulnerable side of his persona on “She” featuring the eternally swagged out crooner Frank Ocean; he laments “When I’m with my friends I put on a front/But in the back of my top I’m writing songs about we.”  He talks about getting nervous to ask a girl out on a date, and shows that his villain shell may be concealing a sensitive boy.  Of course, there is some good old #OF angsty rapping with plenty of cussing on the album as well: “Fuck your traditions/Fuck your positions/Fuck your religions/Fuck your decisions” he yells on the lo-fi banger “Radicals.”  ”Bitch Suck Dick” is another cheeky jam that is about, well…..bitches sucking dick.
Production wise, #Goblin does not stray too far from Tyler’s signature sound.  Booming 808’s, airy synths, bitcrushed snare drums, reverb drenched hand claps, and clunky MIDI pianos create a rich texture that feels something like watching public access television at 4:45 in the morning after a long night of binge drinking and recreational drug use.  The beats sit nicely under his crisp, deep vocals, and he includes many of his signature chopped and screwed ad-libs and echoing yells. Tyler even decided to include an interesting all instrumental track called “AU79,” which provides a nice interlude for the listener.  Overall, we would have liked to see a bit more experimentation and growth on the beats from the Creator, who has established himself as one of the most unique and daring producers in the game.  Not that the drum kits, synths, and overall instrumentals sound exactly like “Bastard” or other previous OF collabs, but Tyler could definitely bring more to the table on the production to complement his more business-savvy, pensive attitude.  The first single “Yonkers” off the album is perhaps the slickest, most head-nodding beat on the album and hints at a new path Tyler could take.  That is, if people don’t hate OF within two months and this whole thing turns out to be an extended meme.  All original beats with no samples means that Tyler can sell the music without paying out fees and royalties, but it limits his musical palate.  As they say, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but the lack of development makes the project as a whole seem a bit lackluster.   
Overall, Goblin is a solid, well-rounded project that shows dedication and potential for longevity for the Creator, and the project stands on its own comparisons to “Bastard” aside.  There has been a lot of speculation that #OFWGKTA is a flash-in-the-pan act that will fade to oblivion once they have been spit out and thoroughly used up by the music industry.  However, Tyler and OF seem to be making the right moves.  They keep everything in-house and are building the brand organically, not relying on big name features or guest producers to boost YouTube views.  Tyler is not trying to write hits or dumb down his style to reach a mass audience.  Instead, he is truly being himself and hoping that the rest of us catch on, or catch up.  In a world of prestige whores, publicity stunts, and misguided A&R, it is refreshing to see an artist like Tyler stay true to himself and have success doing just that.  
You can purchase Goblin on iTunes here.  
If you’ve gotten through this long, eloquent piece, we would like to thank you for rocking with #FNYUL and following us on Twitter and Tumblr.  We’re building our web presence, and we appreciate all the support.  Good luck with the rest of finals, and enjoy the rest of #READINGDAY2k11.
Love,
-@FAKENYULOCAL

 

#FNYUL Presents: Tyler the Creator #GOBLIN

Today is May 10, a day the interwebs has been awaiting for months.  Not only is it #ReadingDay at NYU and classes are officially donzo, but #OFWGKTA frontman Tyler the Creator has released his first studio album under XL Recordings, GOBLIN.  The album is produced entirely by Tyler with all original beats, no samples. Naturally, we allied our personal brand with Tyler long ago, following him on Twitter when he had a mere 6,500 followers (he now has a cool 185,000+). Although #6OBLIN leaked around May 4th, today is the day that the album is officially for sale.  Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few months and not wasting exorbitant amounts of time on the internet via sucking the corporate ‘D’ in #STERN (BOOO!!!), you’ve heard of #OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All), the Los Angeles hip-hop crew at the forefront of the New West movement.  Within the crew, there are various collaborations and artists such as backpack crew Mellowhype, stoner God Domo Genesis, and R&B ladykiller Frank Ocean, with Tyler as the outlandish frontman with the most #swag…  #SWAG.

Although the collective had been putting out mixtapes and singles via their #tumblr since 2008, the group’s big break happened in one week in early 2011.  Tyler released the viral music video Yonkers on February 10th which was cosigned via Twitter by Kanye West, and on February 16th Tyler and Hodgy Beats performed on Jimmy Fallon with the Roots as a backing band.  After the “shocking” “horrorcore” performance in which the duo sported ski masks and used the Travelocity leprechaun as a prop, Odd Future was trending worldwide on Twitter and morphed into an internationally recognized brand.  After a Billboard cover, an international sold-out tour, and the creation of Odd Future Records, it was clear that OF had “blown the fuck up.”  Even lame-ass kids who wear cargo shorts and pay $60 to go to “Deadmau5” shows were posting the #Yonkers video on your wall….ten days late though, of course.  However, with only one solo album/mixtape “Bastard,” under the leader’s belt, all eyes were on Tyler when he announced his debut “legit” album, #Goblin, to drop May 10th.  At the forefront of all things music, #socialmedia, and culture, #FNYUL has had this album since it first leaked and has had some time to reflect on it and let the sounds marinate.   Since Pitchfork has not yet reviewed the album, we ensure you that all views are our own.  We present to you our take on Tyler’s latest creation, written in highly pretentious prose. #SWAG

While 2009’s #Bastard presented a raw, broken, and fatherless teenager who recorded music in his bedroom with cheap equipment to escape the realities of a lower middle class existence, “Goblin” portrays a young man on the cusp of fame and riches struggling to retain that identity in the face of the all consuming “music business.” As with “Bastard,” the album opens with a skit in which a therapist (played by a deep voiced Tyler) asks him a question; This time, instead of answering “This is what the devil plays before he goes to sleep/Some food for thought that’s food for death go ‘head and fucking eat/My father’s dead well I don’t know we’ll never fuckin’ meet/I cut my wrists and play piano ‘cause I’m so depressed,” Tyler replies “I’m not a fucking role model/I’m a fucking 19-year-old fucking coaster with pipe dreams/Since Kanye tweeted tellin’ people he’s bumpin’ my shit/These mother fuckers think I’m supposed to live up to something, shit.”  This opening moment foreshadows the change of tone throughout the album that makes #Goblin something refreshing and different while still retaining all of the characteristics that drew us in the first time.  We have to give props to Tyler for putting features from the usual cast of characters such as Domo, Hodgy, Mike G, Jasper Dolphin, and Taco on the album instead of collabing with T-Pain the moment he gets in the limelight (re: Wiz Khalifa).  This shows integrity and humility on Tyler’s part and shows that he is a genuine artist in it for the long haul.

The album feels very honest from start to finish; right off the bat Tyler comes clean and tells us that he is not actually “a rapist or a serial killer,” a persona he adapts in many songs such as VCR/Wheels. This perhaps makes his character even more perplexing; Tyler’s rants about “kidnapping, smacking a bitch” on one of the album’s highlights “Transylvania” are the musings of a twisted mind that has created a private world for himself that in our most primitive, vulnerable moments we can all relate to.  Tyler also lets us in on a softer, more vulnerable side of his persona on “She” featuring the eternally swagged out crooner Frank Ocean; he laments “When I’m with my friends I put on a front/But in the back of my top I’m writing songs about we.”  He talks about getting nervous to ask a girl out on a date, and shows that his villain shell may be concealing a sensitive boy.  Of course, there is some good old #OF angsty rapping with plenty of cussing on the album as well: “Fuck your traditions/Fuck your positions/Fuck your religions/Fuck your decisions” he yells on the lo-fi banger “Radicals.”  ”Bitch Suck Dick” is another cheeky jam that is about, well…..bitches sucking dick.

Production wise, #Goblin does not stray too far from Tyler’s signature sound.  Booming 808’s, airy synths, bitcrushed snare drums, reverb drenched hand claps, and clunky MIDI pianos create a rich texture that feels something like watching public access television at 4:45 in the morning after a long night of binge drinking and recreational drug use.  The beats sit nicely under his crisp, deep vocals, and he includes many of his signature chopped and screwed ad-libs and echoing yells. Tyler even decided to include an interesting all instrumental track called “AU79,” which provides a nice interlude for the listener.  Overall, we would have liked to see a bit more experimentation and growth on the beats from the Creator, who has established himself as one of the most unique and daring producers in the game.  Not that the drum kits, synths, and overall instrumentals sound exactly like “Bastard” or other previous OF collabs, but Tyler could definitely bring more to the table on the production to complement his more business-savvy, pensive attitude.  The first single “Yonkers” off the album is perhaps the slickest, most head-nodding beat on the album and hints at a new path Tyler could take.  That is, if people don’t hate OF within two months and this whole thing turns out to be an extended meme.  All original beats with no samples means that Tyler can sell the music without paying out fees and royalties, but it limits his musical palate.  As they say, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but the lack of development makes the project as a whole seem a bit lackluster.   

Overall, Goblin is a solid, well-rounded project that shows dedication and potential for longevity for the Creator, and the project stands on its own comparisons to “Bastard” aside.  There has been a lot of speculation that #OFWGKTA is a flash-in-the-pan act that will fade to oblivion once they have been spit out and thoroughly used up by the music industry.  However, Tyler and OF seem to be making the right moves.  They keep everything in-house and are building the brand organically, not relying on big name features or guest producers to boost YouTube views.  Tyler is not trying to write hits or dumb down his style to reach a mass audience.  Instead, he is truly being himself and hoping that the rest of us catch on, or catch up.  In a world of prestige whores, publicity stunts, and misguided A&R, it is refreshing to see an artist like Tyler stay true to himself and have success doing just that.  

You can purchase Goblin on iTunes here.  

If you’ve gotten through this long, eloquent piece, we would like to thank you for rocking with #FNYUL and following us on Twitter and Tumblr.  We’re building our web presence, and we appreciate all the support.  Good luck with the rest of finals, and enjoy the rest of #READINGDAY2k11.

Love,

-@FAKENYULOCAL